Where would I be??

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

There's a song by Luscious Jackson that always makes me smile.  In fact, it plays continually within my heart & my mind.  I find myself humming it from time  to time without even being aware.  "Where would I be..without my friends? I would be nowhere...I would have nothin.  They're always there for me...I'm always there for them.  On THAT you can depend."  Makes me Smile without fail.   

F R I E N D S.  What a lucky girl I am.

"I got my freaks to the East

I got my freaks to the West

Let's get together...

Let's celebrate...

You know I can't say no to a good time with my friends

Where would I be...

without my friends..."
    Luscious Jackson


Agreed.
Hepburn Hugs & Ric Ocasek Dreams
Birdee Bow

Patsy Cline & Popcorn

"It seems that every time I stick my neck out, I get my foot into something else." 
    Patsy Cline

Having been in town all of about 48 hours, I was certain I would get lost before finding my way to the theatre.  Following directions written on the back of a Super 8 Motel notepad, I finally knew I was close.  Not because of the road signs or the street names, but because of the long line I had  spotted.  A long line of gathered hopefuls with guitars who were now wrapped around the front of the theatre & down the side of this historic 3 story brick building.

 "Well now, this is completely & totally overwhelming",
  I said it aloud & under my breath while checking my mascara one last time in the reflection of the neighboring souvenir shop window.  As I took one last deep breath my eyes focused inside the shop, it was filled with tourists & families on their last days of summer vacation. I watched as children made their way down the tiny store aisles amidst Elvis figurines & the sounds of Patsy Cline.
The scent from the doorway was a mixture  of taffy & popcorn, ahhhh one of my favorites!  Suddenly I was in a flashback to summer vacations with the fam. Thinking of them now as I walked closer toward the line, envisioning mom & dad standing on the front porch waving goodbye. I pictured it like something out of a Rockwell painting only sweeter. Was that only 4 days ago? It already seemed like 4 months. How comforting it would be to be there now, eating a home cooked meal & visiting with them about how much I had missed them while I was away...

Kerpling cling clang!!  The sound of a seriously out of tune guitar brought me back to harsh reality, right back to the task at hand & the $500.00 grand prize that brought me here. I needed deposit money to get into an apartment in Green Hills. Ahh, the cute little 1960's style garden apartment I had found. The little place that would be the beginning of my new start in Nashville!  Visualizing my lyrics again I was hoping to somehow forget about being nervous. As I joined the line several people began to introduce themselves. Never completely open with people at first meeting, I found it hard to keep my usual comfortable distance in such close proximity. Somewhat forced to join into conversations, I listened while this one & that one told me their entire life story & how they had also just arrived into town. A couple of them told me about being around the block one too many times while sharing their Nashville horror stories (always an unwelcome event in a new town).  Talking to them didn't make me feel any better, but it did distract me from my anxiety.  As the line began to move faster someone from the front yelled "only 1 minute on stage! You're on & then you're off so make it count!"

 OH MY GOD.  1 minute?  Apparently 6 winners would be chosen from the enormous line & those 6 would come back later in the evening to actually perform for the saloon crowd.  Fast forward about an hour & one minute.  I did my thing & as I exited stage left all I could think of was diet coke & finding a seat in a corner alone. Finally, the announcement.  One name, two names, three names & there it was, my name!!  No way, couldn't be.   I had made the top 6.  By some crazy or rather, wild horse, chance of fate I would be one of the 6 who would return in 2 hours for the grand finale.  I would actually be able to perform my entire song & do my whole 3 minute & 15 second thing. $500 was one step closer to mine!

 2 guys returned & 4 girls that afternoon.  I remember the girls well as 2 of them were quite outspoken about their dislike for the 3rd one.  I didn't know any of them, nor did I really care to, but they had apparently competed against each other before & had a serious dislike for girl #3. Something which amazed me at the time.  Wasn't Nashville a huge town filled with dream chasers from around the globe? How could it be they already knew one other?  Ohhh but Nashville is a small town, something I would soon learn..

Girl #3 was from Kentucky. Her loud bawdy southern accent was overshadowed only by her attire which was the sort of getup you would envision Christina Aguilera wearing during the Dirrrty Xtina years only with a bit more country & western flair. Yep, not entirely classy, but I had to admit this girl had individuality & apparently zero fear.  The other 2  thought it entirely inappropriate & wasted no time in sharing their mutual distaste of her with me. "Her reputation is widely known & you should avoid her at all cost, Oh sure", they admitted, "she has an awesome voice, but she's trouble, pure trouble."  Trying to avoid the drama, I kept my distance from ALL of them & focused on the warm up & the  contest at hand.  "5 minutes til go time"  The saloon announcer's voice rang out as we made our way into the dressing room for one last prep.
Standing in front of the lighted makeup mirror, I noticed as the two girls  both checked out my look  in the reflection. "Good luck!", they giggled. Smiling huge toothy grins, they bounced out a swinging dressing room door.  Just as I was exiting the room, Xtina came running toward me, grabbing me from behind "Oh HONEY!, she exclaimed
(in the type of southern drawl I had thought only created in Hollywood for movies & Gone With The Wind heroines)
"You can NOT go on stage!
 Look At Your Foot!"
Looking down in fear... there it was, toilet tissue wrapped around my shoe. A trail longer than Princess Di's very wedding dress train. A looooong winding trail of white paper just flapping in the wind behind me. STILL unwinding from the actual  paper roll STILL hanging on the dressing room wall.
Yes this train could have gone on
 f o r e v e r !!!!
 Quickly she helped me free myself from the most embarrassing moment which almost happened.   Had the other girls sabotaged me?  Had they placed it there?  I wasn't entirely sure, but one thing I was sure of was that they had definitely seen it!! They had absolutely noticed it & walked away.  Leaving me to my own demise.
 Xtina #3 & Me?
 Well, we became fast friends as we laughed so hard we nearly fell to the ground in a mound of toilet tissue.
 On that night I learned to never align with people too quickly.  I learned to never let anyone shape my perception of another person & most importantly?  I learned to always check my shoes for toilet paper when exiting a dressing room door.
  Ahhh Nashville. 

Hepburn Hugs & Ric Ocasek Dreams

xo


Birdee Bow

Hug Somebody. It's Late.

"They Invented Hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything"
     Bill Keane

At the age of 17 I got my first makeup artistry job.  It was a position in a very small cosmetics boutique, but I remember thinking I had really made it.  I had always dreamt of being a beauty expert dressed in a fabulous little black dress with well groomed nails & perfect eyeliner. The mere thought of working my way through college while becoming a makeup artist felt like the most amazing idea EVER!

Reading everything I could possibly get my hands on, I took stacks of huge bound notebooks filled with press releases & product knowledge home each night. I wanted to be exceptionally well versed & ready for ALL cosmetic emergencies that might arise.  After a few months of sales instruction, artistry lessons & entrance exams into the "World of Beauty", Mrs. Vandemere  (my elegant boss, who at the age of 65 could have easily passed for a woman of 40) decided I was finally ready for my first day on the floor.

My first client appointment was a lovely lady with perfectly styled Jackie O dark hair.  Her taste seemed impeccable & as I approached her I complimented the camel toned wool coat she wore while asking her to have a seat in the beauty instruction chair.  Thinking back now about a teenager explaining wrinkle potions & eye creams to a woman in her 50's?  Well, it makes me giggle. It had  to be tough to take me seriously, but she was polite & kind & seemed to be content listening to my every word.  As I swept a huge powder brush across her face with the final touches of her custom look (just as instructed) I lifted a hand mirror for approval.  Just then a tear began to fall down her cheek & then another & another & yet another until a full on cry began.  I was shocked, stunned & paralyzed with fear.

 "Oh no. Oh no OH NO!  It's all wrong isn't it? Too much foundation?  Do you hate the lipstick? I'm so SORRY!" I went on & on, feeling an already nervous stomach beginning to become nauseous. I wanted to run.  S T R A I G H T out of the front door. I wanted to vanish into thin air & never return.
  "No, no", she replied. "It's this song."
 "What?  A SONG?  What song? There's a SONG?"  This was my very first client & I had been entirely too nervous to even remember my name let alone the fact that there was actual music playing within the store.  Just then, I tuned in.  I turned my ears on & I heard the Beatles

 "Yesterday,
all my troubles seemed
so far away"

 "It's this song, she continued, it was my husband's favorite. I can still see him standing in the kitchen every morning, singing it to me while we would eat breakfast together. He recently passed away. We were married for 25 years. He was my best friend & I miss him."

 I froze solid in my tracks.  This beauty emergency was definitely NOT in the beauty guidebook. Where was this sales technique strategy outlined? What were those positive informative sales terms from chapter 5 for this?   I'm sure I had little know how to handle such a situation at that age, but also LESS knowledge of handling it in a work setting while holding a tube of Tulip Pink lipstick in one hand & a powder brush in the other..

  "I'm so sorry.  Do you want me to turn it off?" I nervously muttered with a lump in my throat the size of Mount McKinley & a few tears of my own welling up inside.  "No!" she snapped back, as a smile began to form, "I think it's a sign!  You see,  I haven't left the house in months & today I made this appointment to somehow feel better again, to feel pretty again.  I had to force myself back out into the world.  I think hearing that song..  here, today is a beautiful sign."

 I could feel myself beginning to breath again as we both started to laugh a little.  "I love it!" she said.  "I'll take everything!"  
As I gathered her products she began telling me sweet stories about their last vacation & the way he loved the scent of vanilla candles & how he made cinnamon toast better than anyone she had ever met AND how he would have loved that Tulip Pink lipstick :)

I never saw her again, but I think of her every single time I hear that timelessly beautiful song &
 it makes me Smile.
Hug Somebody.  It's Late.

Hepburn Hugs & Ric Ocasek Dreams

xo

Birdee Bow

Wring It Out

“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.” 
― Marcus Aurelius 

When trying to describe a friend of mine to another friend recently I found myself searching for the right words.  She is such a vibrant & beautiful personality!!  It can be tough to describe her in simple, everyday terms.  As I searched for the proper verbiage to evoke the exuberance & vibrancy of my friend I could only think of a wash cloth.  Yep, a wash cloth.

 I finally said,
 "She lives life as if  she is taking it into her own hands, tightly twisting & wringing out every last beautiful drop from the often ordinary & uneventful wash cloth of life."
I'm pretty sure she's never been awakened with an unsettled worrying that life is passing her by & I'm almost positive she's never taken one tiny drop of life for granted.

I aspire to that kind of beauty.

That's a powerful light.

Shining On 

Legendary Style.

I'm starting to believe that Luck comes pouring down when we least expect.

Maybe if we're constantly wringing out life for all it's worth??

L U C K 

becomes a habit 

not an event.

Thankful today for those whose lights shine so brightly within my life & those who lift me up when I am sliding down...

W R I N G    IT    O U T 

Hepburn Hugs & Ric Ocasek Dreams

xo

Birdee Bow

I'm For Swings...

"Everything you are against weakens you. Everything you are for empowers you." 

Wayne Dyer   

I find the more I focus on the things I'm against in this world the more irritable, angry & all together saddened I become.  I love the idea that focusing on the things we are for can create more positive energy & more avenues to success in SO many more ways.  Thinking today about all the heavy, life altering & socially important ideas which I support....

I am also thinking about all the beautiful, seemingly less serious, but all the while still life affirming moments which I am undeniably
F O R 

I'm for Symphonies & Picnics 

I'm for barefoot dancing under streetlights

I'm for Cupcake Trucks

I'm for Huge Great Danes in Tiny Toyotas

I'm for Silly French Pink Lemonades

I'm for spending change kept in ziplock baggies

I'm for Elvis & Ann Margret...

I'm for 80's music 

I'm for JOY

Hepburn Hugs & Ric Ocasek Dreams

xoxo

Birdee Bow

HIT Like BAM! Cha-Ching!

"If I could take one thing back, it would be those white suits"      Eric Carmen

I have a love/hate relationship with music used in product advertising.  Love the fact that whenever a song is in placement on television a songwriter is getting paid Cha-Ching!!  Heaven knows songwriters seldom get the respect or the PAYDAYS they deserve & any source of income is so vital to the continuation of an artist's craft. I'm a huge advocate of anything supporting an artist's path to creation. However, the thing that doesn't get me overly excited is the dreaded background noise effect. The inevitable desensitizing of emotion that happens when hearing a song over & over again. Especially when a penned song is heard over & over again in a setting which was designed primarily to move goods.

Today, as I shopped my way down the sidewalk of a busy city avenue, I was 100% caught up in the hustle. Peering into a plate glass window  featuring a glorious vintage hat rack when BAM!  I heard it.  The song.  Oh I've heard it before.  In fact, I've heard it many times in the above aforementioned background format, but today something about the way it came through a neighborhood pizzeria patio speaker HIT me.  Hit me soft like the most melodic voice I had ever heard. Hit me hard with all the yearning & heartfelt longing of a song written from the heart.
 Sincerity coming at me like a tidal wave of emotion.
 Frozen in my tracks.
 As if in slow motion I moved out of oncoming foot traffic & slowly slid up against a warm brick wall.  Standing in the heat of a hot August sun I practiced purposeful oblivion; Complete exoneration of the commotion &
I listened.
Really
listened
for the first time..

Truth be known I guess I wanted it to HIT me
I wanted to be HIT with something surreal

something to make me 
remember why

Why

Why I love music so much

Why

Why music is so important in this life

Why

Why music became my passion & joy

Why

Why music keeps us sane & alive & most importantly

H o p e f u l

Right out of 1975 & straight into your heart

Eric Carmen

It's all about the songs

Ericcarmen.com

Here's hoping for more HIT me moments

Hepburn Hugs & Ric Ocasek Dreams,

xo

Birdee Bow

American Stick Figure Dreams

As I worked my way up the wooden stairs of a large conference style university classroom, I wondered what the first day of my sophomore art class would be like.  Having never shown even the tiniest amount of artistic skill, I imagined a semester filled with very disappointing stick figures drawn upon cotton pulp sketching paper.  I also imagined a very stuffy & pristine art instructor who would most likely not be amused with my lack of skill nor my matching lack of enthusiasm for their class.


 When he entered the room I thought he must be an older student returning to college. Lazy movements paired up with faded jeans & plastic flip flops... he wore a vintage Wimpy's Hamburger T-shirt & had hair much longer than the usual conservative nape neck cuts of this Texas college town.  As he placed two large photo placards onto awaiting tripod stands, I suddenly realized this was not a student but rather my new instructor.  Tall & seemingly friendly I watched him greet the last few late entrants into the classroom.   I turned my attention to the photos & noticed one was an absolutely beautiful & extravagant beach house.  A modern home built right upon the sand with lush greenery & exotic flowers covering walkways around a circular drive, complete with a breathtaking view.  The next tripod held a placard of a fancy red convertible sports car.  So shiny & perfect these photographs; I immediately wondered if he was about to engage us with his photography skill or maybe teach us the art of film development on our first day.

  He  pointed to the photographs & said, "Mine!"   What? I thought.  Oh no not THAT guy.  Seriously?  Our new art teacher was going to bait us with his riches?    WOW us with his wealth?  He continued, "WAS mine, anyway, You guys impressed yet?"  As a few guys in the room said "Yeah man you own a Maserati?"  He answered,  "Yep.  Well, I did anyway. This was my Malibu home & this was my Malibu Maserati. I could show you my beautiful blonde Malibu girlfriend, but she left me when I moved out of the house"  Laughter broke out across the room.

 He had no more than said those very words than he began to RIP the huge Malibu House photograph in half. Straight down the middle.  A collective gasp across the room in perfect unison with the exposing of another photograph directly beneath. This photograph was of a tiny brick apartment. A dwelling with small windows & zero fanfare.  He then turned to the Maserati photo Riiiip! Same thing only this photo was now opened down the middle to reveal a 1960's Volkswagon Beetle. A little beat up bug, rusty with fuzzy dice in the mirror & a luggage rack on top.  As the entire class began to giggle, he said, "This is the first art exhibit of your new art class & it is entitled "MY American Dream please take notes. You will be tested."

He went on to tell us about his modest beginnings in the art world of Los Angeles & how his early paintings had gained him much notoriety & press in the media.  As his fame grew, his expertise became a sought after commodity within the high society art world.  After a short year of exhibits around the world he had somehow fallen into an art dealership/broker style position.  Successfully anticipating market trends & procuring some rather earth shattering financial success for one of the top art galleries in the world had made him rich.  Yep, our current art teacher in the plastic shoes had been a teenage art prodigy who became a millionaire at the ripe old age of 22. 

   "Mine" he said pointing to the VW bug & the tiny apartment pic.  "All mine, All I need.  All I ever wanted"  He went on to say , "The world is full of doctors who desperately want to be astronauts & pilots who dream of becoming chefs.  Teachers who fantasize about being firefighters & policemen who want to be opera singers. Millionaire art dealers who just want to be art instructors. It's not just about waiters who dream of becoming actors (although they exist too) We sell ourselves short by buying into an American Dream that is not our own."   
"You may have thought you were signing up for an art class, but this class is going to be about stopping the madness & finding your true passion. There are MANY talents & joys inside of you that have zero to do with a perceived materialistic American Dream.  I'm here to tell you that even a Malibu mansion won't bring you happiness if you don't know who you are..."


And the last words he said during that lecture I will never forget:
 " I don't care if you leave this semester drawing stick figures, as long as they're yours & you like 'em & they're doing exactly what you want them to do? Then you'll obtain an A"


& I did  :)


Hepburn Hugs & American Stick Figure Dreams
xoxo
Birdee Bow

Love Locked Straight Into The Seine

"The Things we truly love stay with us always, locked in our hearts as long as life remains.." 

                                                  Josephine Baker

I recently began reading about the LOVE PADLOCK ritual.  Apparently, most Love Padlocks began popping up around the early 2,000s. However, many padlock locations are dated back to pre World War II.  Each location's origin has different meaning according to local legends, but each one of them carry the same locked message:
L O V E 
  In Fengyuan, Taiwan love padlocks upon an overpass of the city's train station are in pairs.  The "Wish Locks" are believed to be accumulating the positive magnetic field energy generated by the trains which pass underneath.  With each passing train?  Wishes are fulfilled :)

In Montevideo, Uruguay a Love Padlocked fountain reads "The legend of this young fountain tells us that if a lock with the initials of two people in love is placed in it, they will return together to the fountain and their love will be forever locked"  

The Pont des Arts pedestrian bridge across the Seine River has become the "Love Lock of Paris" As one locks their love to the bridge dating back to Napoleon circa 1804,  it's then important to SEAL the Deal by throwing the key into the Seine..

" If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever."  The Crow

Love Padlocked Trees of Moscow

Maybe no matter who we are, where we're from or what our background, we all know that LOVE  is fragile & beautiful & ever fleeting.
 When you find that feeling?
You want to lock it in your heart
for safe keeping
& throw away
 the key... 

                                             straight
                                                     into
                                                          the
                                                             Seine;)

Hepburn Hugs & Ric Ocasek Dreams

xo

Birdee Bow

Get Drenched Today

"Is it Really Possible to tell someone else what one feels?"  Leo Tolstoy  Anna Karenina

3:30 am & at first it is a scene within my deep asleep moving dream, the tapping of tiny raindrops upon the rooftop.  My eyes work their way open.  Ahhh. the gentle lull of rain falling through the dark silence, one of my favorite things.  Lying there concentrating upon the rhythm, I suddenly find myself moving toward the sound.  Navigating to & out of the front door, One Cold Drop upon my foot & I am fully awake.   I am tempted to turn & run back into the warmth, back into the comfort of an awaiting blanket, but not today.  Today, forward seems to be the more intriguing motion.  Bare feet upon chilly cement & with each step I am becoming drenched.  With each drop of rain I am becoming more sensitive to the cold & of a chilling wind moving across me, moving right through me.   My eyelashes lower, obscuring the view as the falling moisture forces them closed.  As drops fall within the creases of my skin,  I realize the curve of my arms, the bend of my knees & the space between my toes.  I am aware.  The heaviness of some drops as they pounce upon my head in strict contrast to the lighter ones which softly brush against my face while being carried away by the wind...
I am aware.
I am aware of me.
I am aware of the fact that I rarely choose to be aware of anything.

Why do we grow up & forget to feel?


May You Get Drenched Today

Hepburn Hugs & Ric Ocasek Dreams


xo


Birdee Bow

Change Comes in The Color Cherry Red

"He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance, one cannot fly into flying."  --Friedrich Nietzche

I never cared much for driving. Even when I was 15.  Nope.  Didn't really care.  My dad had just bought a brand new Cherry Red Mustang GT with black racing stripes.  It was a gorgeous car. A car that he actually wanted to teach me to drive.  Of course it was a manual transmission, the very thing I most feared in life,  & learning to drive a brand new sports car while sitting next to your father who paid for it?  Yep, not a relaxing experience to say the least.  As I desperately tried to focus on his instructions (amidst the periodic flinching of his face) I ground my way through the gears, time & time again.
 NOT pleasant & needless to say NOT successful.  I gave up long before he did,  making up some excuse about needing to be somewhere & explaining how we should really get home before I mutilated the car. 
Looking back now I realize how much he wanted to pass his love of driving on to me along with his passion for the open road & for shiny fun sports cars. I truly believe he would have let me grind those gears to bits, or at least until the sun went down, if I had showed any interest at all.
"driving is independence" 

Fast forward & as I hit the road on a dime in an independent rock band, there was no need to drive.  A van full of guys willing to take the wheel;  willing to navigate me to our concert destinations while I'm reading, applying makeup, chatting on the phone or mindlessly gazing at the scenery. I will never need to drive again! Psssh.  "driving is independence" Whatever! 

Fast forward a wee bit more &
I'm starting to see things Dad's way.
Funny how that happens isn't it?

Change is Scary
Change is Undeniable
Change is Fast
Change is WHOA.Change?
Maybe Change can be fabulous if you only give it a chance...
Fabulous Like A Little Cherry Red Car 
Make Mine Automatic Please ;)

Hepburn Hugs & Ric Ocasek Dreams

xoxo


Birdee Bow

The Middle Counts The Most

"My dad says that childhood is the happiest time of my  life. But, I think he's wrong. I think my mom's right. She says childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but its the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up & it will"     Bernice Mattise 

Hope Floats is one of my all time favorite flicks.  There's something quite genuine about the way Texans are portrayed in this movie,  I think it captures the heart & the spirit. Ok, maybe as much as a light fictional drama starring Sandra Bullock would ever be able to capture something as monumentally huge as the spirit of Texas, but you get what I mean.

  While home recently,  I overheard my dad giving directions to my uncle over the phone,   "About a mile as the Crow Flies".  It struck me as not only a descriptive metaphor for the distance upon a country road, but also as the overall feeling when I'm back home.  The shortest distance between two points.  Less hem & haw more action. Less whining around feeling sorry for yourself &  more making tough choices & then gettin' busy gettin'on with it.
 Zero pomp & circumstance, 100% substance.

For a girl who has an acute fondness for keeping her head somewhere in close proximity to the clouds?  It's a good change of pace to get a good helping of prairie sod between the toes every once in a while. 

And mom's apple cake,
 good helpings of that are also  immensely beneficial.

"The Middle Counts The Most"

Hepburn Hugs & Stetson Dreams,

Birdee Bow