Showing posts with label LOVE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LOVE. Show all posts

Sunday, January 8, 2017

The Beauty of America


“Give me your tired, your poor, 
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, 
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. 
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, 
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” 



She was beautiful, impeccably dressed and carried herself with an unfaltering sense of confidence. However, the first thing I noticed about Hana was not her image, but her work ethic. Having been in my managerial position only days, the few hours I had spent in my new work environment had been laden with the learning of computer procedures and correct clientele protocol.  Still, every hour I had been present,  Hana kept landing in my peripheral vision. From afar, Hana seemed quick witted, light on her feet and constantly moving.  Rapid movement in the pursuit of sales.  The type of commitment to customer service most generally depicted in luxury retail training videos and work manuals. Needless to say, Hana made an impression on me even before I met her, and long before she shared her story with me.  

Who is that girl who seems to know every customer?  I asked my new coworker.
 
Oh that's Hana.  She's a top producer.  She's a force, but the sweetest girl you'll ever meet.
Having worked in sales most of my adult life I would have to say those two statements rarely go together.  Top producer AND the sweetest?  OK, sure it's possible, but not very common.  Being new to this upper echelon retail environment where 10,000 dollar evening clutches and 20,000 dollar evening gowns fly off the shelves like flashlights during hurricane season, I had to admit, I was a little intimidated. 


I watched as Hana handled the toughest high maintenance customers with ease.  Never cowering down in often stressful situations, she had a way of handling people with an air of confidence and firmness that even the most overindulgent, spoiled client seemed to appreciate. You'd be barking up the wrong tree if you thought you would ever get one over on Hana.  She was ready for whatever came her way.  Sometimes it seemed she must have experienced every customer scenario possible and had a mental notebook filled with politically correct comebacks and reprieves.  She was a true master and I got a kick out of watching her move overpriced designer merchandise like a well oiled fabulous selling machine.


How do you do it? 

My opening question seemed as good a way as any to introduce myself.

She answered with a sense of self mockery that led me to believe the sweet rumors I had heard were true.  As we talked about our past sales experiences and what had brought us to our current jobs, she shared with me the fact that she was originally from Indonesia.  

I had noticed her English was a bit broken, but she handled it with such ease and finesse it did not pose a problem. However, as she confided in me that she often loses words and might ask from time to time for help with grammar situations, I realized this seemingly always composed chick was also a bit intimidated at times.  A fact that endeared her all the more to me.  

Our friendly banter started off slowly, but as retail hours became long and sometimes quiet, we began to talk at more length from day to day.  I was amazed to learn of her journey as an impoverished and barely educated 20 year old girl from Indonesia. A brave young girl who took a chance at a better life in my beautiful country.  A country filled with opportunities which I have often taken for granted.

At 20 Hana knew there must be something better out there. Some place where life wasn't so immensely difficult, filled with hard thankless labor and little opportunity for education.   She had heard rumors about a man who would often visit her small village.  Rumors that for the right amount of money he could smuggle you into the U.S. A place she had dreamt of and most importantly a place she thought could bring an end to the cycle of poverty and dismal destitution which had kept her family held captive for generations.  

Completely captivated, I listened as she described with heartbreak how tough it was to leave her family. Unaware of where she was going and completely unsure of the people and circumstances that would get her there, with blind faith she boarded a plane and landed in Los Angeles, CA. It was the beginning of the unknown and the summer before her 21st birthday.

She couldn't speak a word of English and was solely dependent upon strangers who were smuggling her along on this journey.  Once she landed in LA she was picked up by a city bus that carried her to an area close to skid row in downtown LA.  Dumped onto the street she was handed a set of scribbled instructions. Instructions which led her to an apartment.  An apartment where familiar speaking displaced Indonesians were currently living.  They worked during the day at a restaurant and at night would sleep in the makeshift apartment behind the restaurant.  A place she described as pure filth and disgust.  As many as 20 workers at a time would sleep huddled and crowded on a cement floor. Buckets were used instead of indoor plumbing and water was sparingly carried in daily from the restaurant. 

Work  would usually begin at 5am and continue until midnight or later.  Each worker would be paid only a dollar per day and were allowed 2 meals from the restaurant.  Meals which she said were spoiled, impermissible foods and mushy bruised vegetables unfit for paying clientele. One of Hana's duties once a week was walking to the neighborhood market to buy vegetables for the restaurant. During her market excursions, she began to learn English by reading the signs above the produce aisles. Lettuce, cabbage and carrots were among the first English words she mastered.  A slow process, but Hana was determined.  Learning was looked down upon and heavily dissuaded by her handlers, so she kept her new English word discoveries a secret.

As months went by, Hana heard more rumors.  Rumors about better (nicer) people who would pay a bit more per hour for illegal workers.  She took a very dangerous and risky gamble as she and a few others hopped a bus.  Again, no clue where she was headed, but hopefully to better circumstances than the one she was leaving behind on the dangerous streets of LA.  The weather became steadily colder as they traveled from the west coast farther east, a detail that she had not prepared for as she was dressed in only a t-shirt and worn jeans, the only clothes she owned. As the Greyhound traveled on  she eventually saw the signs reading Colorado.  What was Colorado?  She had no idea.  She had no knowledge of U.S. geography or even the concept of states.  As the bus pulled over for her stop, she saw a white van.  A white van driven by a strange man who would take her to her new destination. Another restaurant where she would labor away for pennies a day. However, this place paid 2 more dollars a day and was rumored to be a better, safer environment.  

Upon arrival, she was happy to see much larger living quarters and fewer people to sleep on the floor. A hardwood floor with no furniture, but she thought this already seemed better.  Her hopes were quickly dashed upon realizing the new apt had no heat and no hot water. Winters, which she still describes as one of the most brutal experiences of her lifetime, were unbearably cold. She developed a reoccurring sickness during those winters.  An illness she now knows to be severe bouts of pneumonia brought on my ice cold showers.  A fact she discovered to be true many years later after several doctors, lung x rays and ongoing bronchial issues. She endured three Colorado winters of hard labor without heat or hot water in sub zero temperatures. 

Listening to her relive these moments brought wells to my eyes, but I hid my tears from Hana.  I knew a few things about Hana and one of them was that she didn't want sympathy.  Sympathy made her feel uneasy. She didn't have time for words of pity or sadness. In fact she told her story with a smile.  The kind of  smile worn by those who have endured tragedies and overcome death defying circumstances with honor.  She spoke of her past in terms of triumph and self discovery.  You didn't have to be all that perceptive to know that she survived the adversity in her life through positive thinking and hope.  Sympathy and self pity had nothing to do with her survival.  Zero.  

She described eventually leaving Colorado and finding other work labor situations. From Austin to Florida and back to LA, there seemed to be no shortage of these hard labor style environments, some of them more conducive to helping her better herself, some completely harrowing. These sad stories were not without comic relief, as she lamented the first time she saw an electric clothes washing machine and dryer.  She had never seen this in her country as they had always washed their clothes by hand in a nearby stream.  She marveled at the first time she saw the process and kept feeding the dryer too many quarters to watch it go again and again!  She promised herself she would one day own one of her own!  

Somewhere along these journeys she taught herself conversational English.  Purchasing a tiny English language pocket handbook, she studied profusely day and night. A handbook she still carries today and refers to as the best eight dollars she ever spent.  She worked continuously to connect with other Indonesians who had successfully made the transition to American citizen. One of these connections put her in touch with an attorney. An attorney with whom, after many months of planning, she was able to meet.  The attorney told her if she could get 350.00 dollars he could help her get the paperwork she needed to start the process.  Upon this great news Hana set out to save up the money that would change her destiny!

It took five years to save 350.00.  Not five weeks, not five months, five YEARS. I still remember nearly losing my footing when she spoke those words. But true to her indelible spirit, Hana persisted. She labored, toiled and struggled through terrible  and often life threatening situations for five more years. She described the day she walked into the attorney's office with the money in hand as the day she knew her life would finally be different. After almost 10 years in the U.S. Hana would be on her way to becoming a U.S. citizen.

Her first job as a U.S. Citizen was at a Macy's.  She was hired as a seasonal Christmas wrapping employee.  She wrapped presents all day and carried her trusty English language pocket handbook along.  She spoke of how amazing it felt to get that first paycheck.   $7.50 an hour!  An amount which would have taken a solid 12 hour day work week  to obtain before.

Hana never looked back.  She used every single day of her new career as a ladder to success.  She took every single opportunity as a personal invitation to freedom.  She worked tirelessly and sincerely and successfully until she went from seasonal wrapping employee to department manager at Macy's.  Hana saved her money and paid her own way through college.  Obtaining a degree in Business, she eventually left Macy's for bigger luxury retail opportunities and soon worked her way into an upper level management position with a six figure income.  

"I have seen the darkest recesses of the human spirit and I have witnessed the most beautiful generosity and opportunities this country has to offer. I believe in the beauty of America."  Hana

Before, I had only  known Hana as a pretty, flawless faced girl who drove the brand new black Porsche in our employee parking garage and carried a different CHANEL handbag everyday to work. The poster girl for career success.  The girl with the unfaltering commitment to customer service. The girl with the unstoppable work ethic. 


Now I know her as one of the greatest inspirations of my life.



Love One Another

Hepburn Hugs & Ric Ocasek Dreams

xo
Birdee Bow








Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Time for the Best of Times...


"Time is what we want most, but what we use worst."  WILLIAM PENN


One of  my dearest friends on the planet has a father who is gravely ill.  The kind of ill that is heart wrenching with a very pessimistic medical outlook and a very low survival rate.  But before you decide to stop reading this blog post because of it's overly sad tone, let me assure you, this is a happy story.

Over the past few months since his father's illness has become more serious, I've been unable to get in touch with my friend most days. He's extremely busy taking care of his dad, but also super busy taking time.

Last week  I called him after a long day of work and he quickly let me know that he had taken the day off to go swimming. Seems his dad decided he wanted to go swimming that morning and so they dropped everything and went for a dip. They apparently had a beautiful time and followed it up with some ice cream and a park visit with a gorgeous mountain view. TIME well taken.

They now do a lot of preparing healthy meals together and juicing. Eating together, they actually sit down and share their food and their day.  Yet another thing that was almost impossible to find the time for has now become commonplace.  Precious TIME.

Last weekend they made a journey home, but chose to take the long route. Taking every dirt road and old highway along the way, his dad showed him all the areas where he had once worked as a driller in the oil field.  They also ventured to rivers where he had camped and places he had once called home across three states.  I think the journey normally takes about 7 hours, their journey took more like 12. Beautiful, scenic TIME to share.

They have lots and lots of time for visiting.  Catching up on old stories, new stories and funny anecdotes to pass their lazy evenings away with a little laughter on the patio. Reliving and sharing moments they may have forgotten to share. The precious kinda TIME for the best of times.

Lately it seems they find a lot of time to do a lot of things there was never time to do before.  They're teaching me a lot about TAKING time.  I wonder why we don't TAKE time more often?  I mean isn't it ours for the taking?

Dear Time,
I've been waiting for you and making plans in order to have you.  I think I just figured out that you're already mine.  I'm sorry.  I've been such a fool and I know that even though you're really patient, you've still got that pesky tick tick tickin' away to do.  Just know ima be all up in your grill soon, so be ready. There will be no more ignoring you.
Love <3
Birdee

Here's hoping you TAKE all the time you want today for whatever you choose and don't you feel anything but wonderful about it.

Hepburn Hugs & Ric Ocasek Dreams
Birdee Bow 

Monday, August 11, 2014

Make Yourself...

"If I hadn't made me I would have fallen apart by now.  I won't let them make me, it's more than I can allow. So when I make me I won't be paper mache.  Make yourself."   Brandon Boyd
I learned to accept the startling sound of a high pressure car wash as my early morning alarm clock. Oh the ungodly hours in which the fine citizens of LA will begin scrubbing their convertibles! ( 7 am to be exact)   No ordinary car wash, this was an extra busy trendy spotless spot right off Lincoln Blvd and just a block from Chauncy's house.

Wild sandy blond curls and surfer shorts, Chauncy was an L.A. transplant just like the rest of us. Thank god she had acquired not only a super cute beach house in Venice, but also a huge crush on my band's drummer. She was the girl who had made it possible for us to stay in LA after wrapping up a west coast tour by letting us park our huge white van and trailer in front of her beach pad.  At least three of us would sleep in the van at night while the others would crash on her floor and couch.  It was truly a rock god send and a chance for us to breath for a minute while getting jobs and a few steps closer to our dream.  Chauncy was bare feet, gypsy heart and hippie chic.  I guess it made sense that she loved our Oklahoma small town big dreams and wide eyed vibe.  All I know is I really loved being able to take a shower every day and the fact that she shared her Paul Mitchell hair products with me was a huge luxury.  Win.

Every  night I fell asleep on the back van seat just beneath the glaring corner street light. Staring up at it gave me a sense of security while at the same time a twinge of fear.  Remembering that band guys were each on the two other bench seats over (and much closer to the front doors)  made it all ok again.  I spent a lot of time envisioning all the great things ahead for us, holding tight to high hopes with talent, music and sheer will.  I was filled with optimism for all the positive things we had going.  That's how it is in life, you either choose to be a believer or you don't.  For better or worse,  I've always chosen to believe.

Mornings were a total circus show as we all tried to get ready for our different job destinations while rummaging through suitcases in our van/house.  My new job was on the Santa Monica Promenade selling LUCKY Brand jeans to soccer moms pushing designer baby carriages.  A job with a lot of flexibility for gig nights and a lot of folding.  I was the third one to be dropped off, right after the 6 am Starbucks band mates.  Ahhh the unbreakable spirit of team work.

Huge wooden ladders lined shelves of folded denim. Shelves stacked all the way up to the ceiling. While staring at the ladders one morning I suddenly heard, "this job sucks and you'll start to hate those sliding wooden ladders with all your guts.  You'll climb them fifteen times for one customer who will NOT be able to decide which style number makes her ass look smaller.  You'll hate her too." ahhhh Sara!

Sara was a total tomboy.  A Chicago native she came to LA to escape the harsh winters and the, "endless grey" as she called it. Dating a semi pro skateboarder, she looked like a walking ad for Hurley in over sized tees and baggy jeans.  On break Sara would walk me to all the hot eatery spots on the promenade while telling me about her many A -List sightings since living in Cali. One day she told me how she had once seen Brandon Boyd writing in a notebook outside of  our store on a park bench.

 "I've seen him there twice, but it's been a while. He's usually in a dark beanie and he just sits there alone."

What, Brandon Boyd?  As in the lead singer of Incubus?  As in one of my favorite lyricists of all time...the one whose artistic and passionate lyrical approach inspired me to not fear my own imagery and to trust my dream? I didn't believe her. She was definitely trippin.  Why would Brandon Boyd choose such a busy consumer style place to write and why would it be in front of a denim store without an ocean view?  He could literally write in the most beautiful hidden beach spots of  Malibu or the world for that matter.  Yeh ok great story, but whatever.

Fast forward 2 weeks later.  7 am, early morning denim meeting. Barely light outside. As I step one foot out of the van, I see him walking toward the grey metal park bench directly in front of the store. Dark beanie, simple tee and jeans and the tell tale red tattoo on his forearm.   Whoa, Sara wasn't hallucinating after all. Setting down, he opened his notepad and stared ahead.  I wondered if this had been his lucky bench? The lucky bench in front of LUCKY?  It made me giggle inside, but it was also so thrilling. I thought of his notepad as pure magic while watching his pen carve out letters of gold.   Had he written Pardon Me here? Maybe my favorite roller coaster line from Wish you were here? As my brain ran through an Iron Man worthy obstacle course of what ifs I tried to carry on with a normal denim morning. I never mentioned to one co-worker that he was outside.   I figured I owed him that much after all the great songs he had shared with me, ok and the rest of the world.
About an hour later he got up and walked away.


Ok so I'm not gonna lie.  I totally ran to the bench and sit where he had been sitting as soon as my break time rolled around.  Ooo what does it take to get from here to there,  I thought.  How do I write the words that touch another person so deeply, how do I turn my little notebook into magic too? 

As I sat there I watched the crowds go by.
Moms with strollers, babies and nannies. Parents and siblings, friends and foreigners. Grandparents and kiddos.  Husbands, wives, Lovers. Teens, talkers, singers, dancers and whistlers. Homeless people pushing shopping carts filled with garbage alongside girls drenched in jewels and designer purses. Men in three piece suits and dudes in baseball caps and khakis. Average people on their way to work in every color of the rainbow and more, doing the daily grind and carefree tourists with no deadlines on their mind.   I suddenly realized that while sitting on that bench I had a front row ticket to    L I F E.

"Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear and I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer.  It's driven me before, it seems to have a vague haunting mass appeal.  Lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel.  Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there with open arms and open eyes."   DRIVE    Brandon Boyd


Wishing you unwavering courage to
make
yourself.

Hepburn Hugs & Ric Ocasek Dreams

Birdee Bow

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Holding Patterns


"She was a girl who knew how to be happy, even when she was sad..& that's important - you know."
Marilyn Monroe


One gorgeous sunny afternoon while flying the friendly skies I heard that dreaded announcement one never really hopes to hear while at 20,000 feet.  "Ladies & Gentlemen we've been notified there's a landing back up. We'll be in a holding pattern for a bit.  We'll keep you posted."  I imagined the plane like a huge jet propelled waiting room in the air, just circling around & around killing time in the clouds.  As I felt the warm sun shining through the window & across my shoulders, I turned another page of Vogue.  "Relax",  I said to myself with a huge breath & a looong exhale.  I started taking a closer look at my cabin neighbors, the sort of second look I had not even thought of taking a few moments before.  I'm sure the minutes between the pilot's announcement  & the actual prepare for landing call were 15 to 20 at most, but it's amazing how those seconds seem to feel like hours.  And although time kept slowly inching along at snail speeds?  Eventually, a funny thing happened.. I began to become more comfortable, more at ease with the situation. Forgetting what was taking place, I was happily oblivious in the holding pattern.

Reflecting on that event now, I can't help but think of the holding patterns of life.
Isn't it interesting how we sometimes stay just a little bit too long or hold on just a little bit too tight?  At all costs we become accustomed to the patterns, somehow finding solace in the infinite circles that bring us back to the same results again & again.   Is their familiarity in the loops?  I'm not sure, but I think it has a lot less to do with human nature & a lot more to do with human spirit.  We're fighters.  Survivors.  It's what we do.  We wanna take our circumstances & turn them into bright & shiny chances.  Ok, so sometimes enough is enough..circles eventually have to stop.  But I love the idea that holding patterns, even in their most languid state, can result in:  RESILIENCE.

Maybe a little dizziness is a small price to pay, if it gets us where we wanna go.


Wishing you circles that turn into roads that lead to your happiness..

Hepburn Hugs & Ric Ocasek Dreams

xo

Birdee Bow