Playground Road Kill and Lesson #1

"It's fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure."  BILL GATES

In the 6th grade I had a mad crush on a boy named Tony.  Tony was short for his age, not that good looking and he had a really bad attitude. The only thing Tony really had going for him was the fact that he was a track star.  Yep, a 6th grade tiny country school in the middle of a cotton field kinda track star.  Ohhhh swooon.

Ok, so this may be hard to believe (because I don't really believe it myself) but in the 6th grade, for one year only, I too was a track star.  I ran the fastest quarter mile and thus was placed on every relay team for our tiny school.  This was a strange phenomenon for me because   a.)  I had never really thought of myself as a fast runner and  b.)  I HATED running.

Fast forward to one sunny spring afternoon onto the 6th grade playground.  Now that we were older, most of the 6th graders hung out near the outdoor basketball courts and a few scattered merry go rounds which were older than dirt and I'm quite sure had been designed in the 60's.  Now busting up through the ground the rough concrete centers were entirely visible and the bowed circular action of the "rounds" were more like sun warped frisbees with lifeless flight.

While standing near the merry go rounds (now packed with cool kids).  One girl screamed to me, "CONTEST!" as she egged on a group of middle schoolers to challenge me and Tony to a  merry go pushing competition. They chanted "boys vs girls boys vs girls!"
Ahhhh WHO would be the fastest?

As I watched Tony push the screaming preteens into merry go ecstasy, I felt a lump the size of Houston forming in my stomach. I knew I was up next.  Ok, I could either forfeit the race (which was my favorite option) or I could possibly follow through and maybe not only win but gain some brownie points with my lightening fast crush.  Maybe, just maybe if I could win? He would be amazed at my skill and fall in love with my fearlessness and skill (or something like that).  

Alright alright here goes nothin'...

Stepping over the faded and splintered wooden seats and onto the rock filled ground I was now fully inside the medieval warped contraption.  Starting to push I wondered how much all those seemingly thin little 12 year old girls actually weighed.  Jeez it was heavy. Gaining speed now I listened as they began to cheer me on. "Yea!! Girls are faster!  Girls are faster! GoGoGO!"

Faster. Faster. Faster. I ran and I ran and I ran.   I would take this vintage merry go round straight into flight!  I was unstoppable.  How cool I must look right now!!  How unbelievably awesome Tony must be thinking I am!
And then it happened

Tripping on my own shoe lace I suddenly began to tailspin...falling falling falling. Everything began to happen in slow motion as I slipped into a tragedy of Greek proportions.  I lost all control, but the one thing I had not lost?  My grip onto the rails of the merry go round.  The merry-go-round continued to drag my lifeless body around and around and around, across the sharp rocks while embedding gravel and loose rocks into my knees and elbows. I was playground roadkill.  Just as I felt the jagged concrete center digging into my rib cage. I heard what the crowd must have been yelling for a while,
"LET GO!!"

I finally did.

Lying there face up as the bars of the orbiting vessel continued to spin, I  felt the dizzying sun flicker across my face between the passing shadows of metal bars and dismayed faces of disappointed girls wearing braces.  I couldn't get up yet, but I knew this wasn't going to be good.  I could already taste the blood from a busted bottom lip and my knees and elbows were numb with just enough feeling to indicate road burn.
Entirely too soon, the dust settled.

Making my way out of the center of the merry, a few fateful friends helped me limp to the curb as I dusted dirt clods off my new white shorts and snazzy striped tank top.

Devastation, complete unrelenting embarrassment and a mortifying playground visit from the school nurse later, I wanted to die.

Ok, I'll make the best of it, I thought.  I mean after all, wouldn't Tony at least feel sorry for me?  

Y'know maybe come and check on me?  hmmmm turned out I might be right as he and his two buddies started making their way across the grounds. Sitting up I tried to gain composure as I straightened out the snazzy new tank top.

Brushing the  bloody dirt off my upper lip I winced up at him, holding my hand over my eyes to block the sun.
"You ok?"  he said it in such a sweet manner I thought my heart might melt.
"Yes",  I muttered "thank you and you were really ..." (he cut me off)

"You're an idiot.  Why didn' t you just let go?  MAN. Chicks are retards.  You could've never won anyway, boys are faster."  He mimicked my hands holding on to the bars for dear life and then the three of them laughed, gave me the stink eye and ran away as the bell rang.


Thinking about that event recently, I had to wonder about all the possible hidden lessons and I boiled it down to the following:

a.)  6th grade boys are jerks
b.)  EVEN if you're dying, don't ever let the school nurse baby you on the playground.
c.)  Don't believe your own hype
d.)  Never give in to peer pressure
e.)  If you have to prove yourself then maybe it's time to split.

But I think the #1 lesson is this: (drumroll please)

Life is filled with experiences that leave you feeling like you're being dragged around in endless circles. Before the gravel becomes part of  your kneecaps? Don't forget you have the option of letting go.

AND double tie your shoelaces before every race.

May you let go and let love

Hepburn Hugs & Ric Ocasek Dreams

xo
Birdee Bow